


Crossed Lines Side A

by NightWings



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst and Feels, Azure Moon/Verdant Wind Route merge, Break Up, Byleth done goofed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Hurt Claude von Riegan, M/M, Post-TS Claude, Pre-TS Claude, Protective My Unit | Byleth, Protective Sothis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWings/pseuds/NightWings
Summary: ‘Sothis...I think...we may have messed up quite a bit.’‘That...is a farFARunderstatement Byleth Einser….”When an unknown relic in Byleth's possession not only manages to brings Sothis back but manages to increases the power of their Divine Pulse when they used it, they unknowingly brought back theWRONGClaude
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 20
Kudos: 94





	1. Misplaced

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as something funny but then when I got into more details and talking with my beta the train of thought starting to get a bit more on the angst side with how would pre-timeskip Claude deal with the pressure of his future self, not being able to know what's going on exactly and his 'Ex' who happens to be the Prince of the Kingdom of Faerghus.
> 
> Also I really just wanted to try my hand at a time-travel story, shoutout to my Alpha/Beta reader @Trinketelysium for helping me!

They had gotten intel on a relic near a stronghold that was between Gaarag Mach and the Alliance that the Empire had somehow discovered. They were just supposed to get to the stronghold before the Empire and grab the relic but it seemed the Empire had caught up just as they had obtained it, the forces meeting them right outside the rumored ruins they were at. Byleth had paired everyone up so everyone would have someone to cover their backs but plans always have to be adjusted for unexpected events. Unfortunately this was one of those times.

He ducked an incoming fireball rolling to the side allowing them to get some distance between themselves and the enemy that was trying to get to them, which wasn’t surprising since they held the item that was the sole reason for the fighting breaking out. He lost sight over several of their companions but trusted them to be safe. Least until they turned and shouted out in horror.

**_“CLAUDE!!”_ **

Several arrows had pierced a familiar wyvern making the poor creature screech loudly as it was losing altitude forcing herself and rider to fall. Stabbing a soldier with a silver sword they threw the body to the side as they started running to the wyvern slowly losing altitude.

_‘I have to move, I have to get to him fast! It wasn’t supposed to be this complicated!’_ Byleth thought furiously yelling as he broke through enemy formations, the combination of the Alliance and Kingdom army around them yelling as well noticing the lack of wyverns in the air, the only riders being Hilda, Cyril and Claude and two of them were still in their positions, though Hilda was flying over as she yelled at Cyril to cover her.

Swinging the sword of the creator ripping through empire forces trying to converge towards the fallen wyvern Byleth winced when he saw Claude shout out in pain when an arrow pierced his shoulder along with a fireball following after making it hit his back weakening his grip on the reins. The great beast crashed to the ground, rolling to the side to try and protect her rider as the dirt flew up around the bodies. Sending the soldiers both enemy and allies alike who couldn’t get out of the way fast enough thrown to the sides.

There was a particular angry roar behind him that was no doubt the blonde prince of Faerghus that had also seen their tactician falling. As more enemies being cut through as the fallen prince made his way through the field as Byleth ran, he kept losing sight of Claude as the Empire’s soldiers kept coming towards them and Byleth cut them down as they came at them, the more that tried to stop them the more urgent they became.

_‘Am I going to make it? No, I can’t think that I have to move and get to Claude before the Empire does. We can't lose him!’_ Byleth thought not noticing the relic inside his coat glow, a brief flash of red making him stop when he felt a burning sensation in their chest. It felt like their whole body was covered in a scalding heat that spread from their heart and outwards.

“What in the world…” Byleth hissed, noticing a fading glow, the relic he had on their person took their attention, it was a dark crimson orb that was surrounded in what could either look like ribs or claws that was gripping it tightly as the glow faded and Byleth didn’t notice anything different but a small hum in the back of his head.

Shaking his head and going back to focus on the task, he went back to running towards where Claude had fallen, the hum getting louder inside his head they heard a voice in the back of their head suddenly yawning before gasping?

Byleth nearly tripped over a discarded shield in his haste but kept on running though there was now yelling in his head.

_“So-Sothis!? H-how!?”_

**_::I...do not know. I do know that I have been around but there had been something that was preventing you from hearing me…::_ **

_“So you’ve been with me still? This whole time?”_

_**::I have been asleep as I was previously but I do not have my power anymore as I had given all of that to you. But I believe we have more urgent concerns!::** _

_‘I know Sothis I know!!’_

_**‘What are you waiting for!? If you do not hurry our-that child will be-!!’** _

Giving a particular hard kick to the unfortunate archer that was taking aim at Claude as the Alliance leader was in pain by the painful wince as he stood holding Frailnaught at the incoming soldiers, Byleth watched as Claude pulled back the drawstring not noticing the enemy coming up from behind him as his Wyvern was growling and swiping her tail at anyone that she saw get close.

He was still too far to get close and their eyes widened when he saw several mages converge as one to attack his back, concentrating feeling the adrenaline rushing through them as he tried to reverse to save his friend.

_**::DIVINE PULSE::** _

Time seemed to freeze before Byleth; a mere blink seemed to fly by him reversing everything around him. To Sothis and Byleth’s surprise the Divine pulse was much slower in returning them back like molasses.

Not hesitating for a second, one he was able to move as soon as things started to move around them, keeping his gaze up maneuvering between the bodies. The wyvern screeched again making them flinch but he saw that the fireballs that had hit Claude the first time for some reason missed which was great in his books but Claude was still falling with their wyvern.

Byleth quickly took care of any nearby soldiers again kicking up dirt as he skidded in front of the fallen wyvern swinging the Sword of the Creator making the blades whip out slicing into the soldiers. He could hear the yells of the others, their footsteps right behind them but wasn’t paying attention, their only focus was getting to the downed wyvern curling around their rider to protect them.

“Claude! Claude say something!” Byleth hissed as they threw more fireballs to keep empire soldiers from their location, “Hilda! Sylvain cover me! I need to check Claude!”

“Got it Professor!” Sylvain said cover their back twirling their spear expertly jabbing it on an oncoming knight, “I’ll call for Mercedes just in case.”

“Marianne was following me; she'll get here as soon as Lysithea and Felix clear a path.” Hilda huffed.

Byleth nodded, turning his attention back to the wyvern and coaxing the injured creature to let them see their rider.

“It’s okay I just want to make sure he’s alright, please let me see him,” Byleth said gently though a bit hurriedly, not knowing how much time he got before more enemies tried to swarm upon them. The wyvern gave a weak growl but shifted, lifting her wings to show their rider, though for some reason they seemed more protective then usual, which wasn’t unusual as they were naturally protective but it was odd. It wasn’t until he got an exact look at Claude’s state and felt himself pale. Even Sothis who had been yelling at them in his head was silent.

_‘Sothis...I think...we may have messed up quite a bit.’_

_**‘That...is a far FAR understatement Byleth Einser….”** _

_‘Okay okay we need to get him out of here fast, that’s the priority now. We already taken care of the biggest problem now it just handing this ambush, can’t risk using another divine pulse on anyone else right now either,’_ Byleth said as he stood up keeping the downed wyvern in their sights and giving a fireball to the face to anyone that dared to get close.

They didn’t have to worry about that for too long though, glancing around the empire forces that had come out were being taken care of as they spoke.

“Is Claude okay?” Hilda asked scowling as she grabbed a throwing axe on her hip and threw it at a mage that was trying to hide behind an upcoming cavalier that Sylvain took care of.

“That remains to be seen,” Byleth replied, not quite sure how he was to explain Claude’s current status if they even could at this point without revealing too much but-

_**‘I think you have bigger worries than explaining how this came to be.’**_ Sothis spoke up

Hilda gave him a strange look and Sylvain looked like he was about to say something himself when Marianne and Mercedes we're finally at Byleth’s side. Without saying anything since he didn’t know how else to explain it he patted the wyvern’s wing asking them to lift it up, both Mercedes and Marianne gasped.

“Oh my~”

“By the goddess…”

“So what’s the….oh...oh boy...this...ahahaha how do we explain this? Oh boy his highness isn’t going to be too pleased...”

“Nevermind how HE’S going to react, I’m more concerned on HOW in the ever loving goddess Sothis did this happen!?”

Byleth silenced them with a look giving out orders to get both Claude and his wyvern out of the battle and somewhere safe.

“We don’t say anything right now, let’s get Claude back to the Monastery. Let’s take him to his room and I’ll wait there with him. Say nothing to anyone else and just say he needs to recover but not so much he needs to be seen by Manuela.” Byleth said looking at the group around them.  
____________________________________________________

_**Several hours later…..** _

Byleth was pacing in one of the dorm rooms when he heard a weary groan from the bed running quickly to the side as the owner of the voice sat up rubbing his head.

“Claude, Claude!”

“Teach? Damn did Hilda crash her wyvern into mine again during chores? My head is throbbing.”

“Here this should help, besides your head how do you feel? Any pain, nausea?” Byleth asked, handing Claude a concoction. He sighed and downed it making a face as he drank it.

“No none of the above, is there something wrong Teach?” Claude asked as he looked around, realizing that something felt off and he didn’t know why. Glancing at Byleth he could see them biting their lips as if they were trying to figure out how to word something, “Teach. What’s going on?”

“Claude, what’s the last thing you remember?” Byleth asked walking up next to the bed.

“With your pretty face it’s hard to think clearly Teach!” Claude teased trying to lighten the mood but it just seemed to upset them. Feeling that this wasn’t a time to be joking Claude sighed as he ran a hand through his hair a nervous tick he did, “well…last thing I recall was us being down in the ancient tomb and well found out a lot of stuff…then it kinda went downhill from there.”

“Okay so not too far back...still this is troublesome…” Byleth muttered under his breath as they folded their arms tightly.

“Hey Teach I answered your question. Can you answer mine? What is going on?” Claude asked as he looked around noticing a lot more books in his dorm than usual, some titles he doesn’t remember pulling. As he stood up though another glaring difference was he was wearing the Garaag Mach uniform but it was his. It was a regular school uniform for other students, not a house leader, “Teach what is going on?”

Byleth sighed seeing now way out of this gave Claude a stern looking.

“What I say to you here does not go outside these doors okay?” Byleth said, once he got a nod from Claude, Byleth proceeded to tell their student as much as they could without giving away too much. Once they were done Claude’s eyes were wide and looked like he was trying to slowly process what had happened.

“So...somehow you have the ability to turn back time?”

“Only for a few minutes I think...I’ve never tried what I did back there…”

_**:Not to mention how much mana it should’ve drained you from doing something that massive.::**_ Sothis muttered in his head, _**:You should’ve been affected by a heavy magic drain and-::**_ Byleth quickly shushed the goddess, _**:Do not SHUSH me Byleth Einser!!::**_

“And somehow you managed to turn back where you somehow pulled me instead of me from here?” Claude asked shaking his head the disbelief obvious in his voice, “I’m sorry Teach but even that’s farfetched to me and I’ve seen you come back from some void all glowly hair change and all.”

“I figured as much, so here’s some proof,” Byleth said walking over to the door and Claude shot up when Byleth pulled the door stepping back quickly when all of his Golden Deer Classmates came spilling into his dorm room crashing in front of him and Byleth.

_**  
:And enter the rest of your children..::** _ ********

_'Honestly five years doesn’t do much to change their habits, I should’ve known they’d do something like this.’_

_  
_“Ow! Hey get off of me Lorenz!! Your armor is digging into my side!”_ _

“I would be more than happy to move if Raphael would kindly get off of **ME!** ”

“Sorry Lorenz didn’t expect to fall over like that!”

“You okay Lysithea? I got ya.”

“F-fine thanks for catching me…”

“Aww that’s cute but Ignatz sweetie please move because I’m about to kick Lorenz very hard _**IN**_ _ **THE HEAD**_ ”

“S-sorry Hilda!! Flayn you no one fell on you right!?”

“Oh my what was quite amusing!! I am fine Ignatz you have my sincerest thanks.”

“I-Is everyone alright?”

Byleth cleared his throat catching the fallen groups attention as he folded their arms raising an eyebrow look as the Golden Deer scrambled to present themselves as if they were students again and had gotten caught trying to plan a surprise party for Byleth (which unfortunately he found out because he had forgotten some notes in the classroom and found them in the middle of decorating.)

Byleth was about to say something when he looked behind them and saw a nervous looking Sylvain and Mercedes behind the group.

“If it helps Professor we didn’t hear anything we just wanted to check up on ya know…” Sylvain said making Byleth pinched the bridge of his nose frowning.

“We promise we didn’t inform anyone else, I just told Annie that I was going to go and see if Marianne needed help with healing.” Mercedes said serenely, “I wouldn’t tell someone else of another patient’s condition.”

“And I slipped away before Felix or Ingrid could catch me, especially his highness.” Sylvain chuckled, “Also the wyvern is fine just getting some tender loving care and rest for now.”

Byleth felt Claude flinch at the mention of Dimitri but didn’t say anything instead motioned for the large group to get out of the small dorm room.

“Golden Deer classroom **NOW** ,” was all he said taking the coat they always wore throwing it over Claude’s head to him covered, the others seemed to understand and followed making sure their leader was out of sight as they made their way to the classrooms making sure to not get attention to them.

Once inside and Byleth made sure that the doors were locked Claude pulled Byleth’s jacket off of him and he was swarmed by his classmates plus two blue lions.

“Wow you really **ARE** younger than me.” Was the first said and it came from Cyril who was openly gaping at the teenaged Claude.

“Ha! Now who’s the youngest of the Golden Deer!” Lysithia crowed as she was grinning and pointing at Claude.

“I’m still taller than you shortstack.”

_**"CLAUDE I’M GONNA-”** _

“Okay okay!! We really do know it’s Claude since he’s the only one who can make Lysithia go from a zero to a hundred in three seconds.” Leonie said quickly holding back the raging mage by hauling her under her arms. “Say Professor can you explain all of this?”

“How much did you hear from eavesdropping?” was Byleth blunt replied making several Golden Deer cough laughing nervously making the teacher sighing, “alright so all of you heard it and I’m not about to repeat it. I’m not sure but I think it has something to do with that relic that the empire was after and when I used my ability the two combind resulted in this.”

“Claude’s our leader of course we’d end up picking up some habits from him.” Lorenz said, flipping his hair,” good and bad habits.”

“Wow really feeling the love even now Lorenz…” Claude said dryly looking at his ex-rival? classmate? He could see not much had changed but he could tell that Lorenz had at least grown not just physically.

“You were one of the first ones to try and listen in besides Lysithia and Hilda,” Leonie tattled making Lorenz turn red as Leonie smirked. As Byleth was trying to talk to the students that were asking for answers Claude caught Hilda’s stare. The usual pink haired girl had been strangely subdued as Claude tried to get his thoughts together that this was actually happening.

He knew he should still hold onto the belief that Teach was still pulling his leg but seeing everyone looking so much different from the last time he saw them especially his close friend her bright rose colored eyes looking worried not to mention serious as she moved quickly past the others to wrap her arms around Claude hugging him tightly as if he would disappear.

“H-Hilda?” Claude actually stuttered feeling the pink haired girls grip tighter around him, “are you really...T-Teach was actually telling the truth?”

“How are you feeling, please tell me if anything is wrong?” Hilda said looking Claude over for any injuries which was making Claude feel weird with all the attention the normally laid back girl had.

Marianne and Mercedes had moved away from the group and over to Hilda concerned when they saw the pink haired girl looking over him for any injuries.

“Claude how are you feeling? I can only imagine how confused you are,” Marianne’s soft voice asked him.

“Please tell us, I may not be part of the Golden Deer but you were unconscious for a while.” Mercedes asked, “it’s near dusk right now.

Looking behind Mercedes, Claude saw that she was right; he had hardly paid attention to the time of way when he left his dorm with the other and saw that the sun had nearly disappeared over the horizon as the stars were starting to appear in the reddish-purple skies.

“I-I’m fine! Just just hold on! Everyone really is older so I’m really...” Claude asked suddenly, very out of sorts as the carpet got pulled from underneath him and was still reeling from the aftershock. He slowly felt what little control he had was just pulled so away from his without him realizing,” and I’m just...Hilda what is going on!??”

Hilda looked like she wanted to say something but looked unsure as Byleth wasn’t looking too sure himself once he had managed to settle the other down and now everyone was quiet, waiting what was going to happen now. Claude frowned looking at him, he hated that they were keeping something from him especially what was going on since it became apparent that he wasn’t where he belonged in the literal sense.

“Originally we went to a location that one of our spies had uncovered about the Empire making movements to an area between the Alliance and Empire borders. It was an unassuming place but we had found out there was a possible artifact there,” Byleth sighed, “we took a small group to try and get the item before the Empire because if they’re interested in it then it has to be something worth looking into.”

“Suffice to say Empire still tried to trap us and get the item from us,” Sylvain sighed rubbing his head, “it was lucky there were some of us outside and we were holding them back, until you guys arrived but they were really determined to get whatever it was...speaking of which where is it exactly professor?”

“I have it put somewhere safe,” Byleth replied, sounding as tired as he looked, it was a lot to take in. “after what happened I don't want anyone else to touch it for now at least. I don’t know why it suddenly came to life like that.”

“Okay so I’m not exactly supposed to be here. I get that much, what can you all tell me?” Claude asked and at this everyone was looking everywhere but him, he could feel the irritation starting to grow.

Hilda seemed to take over answering as she looked at Claude.

“Claude, we’re not sure exactly how much we can tell you or if you’ll even remember what we say when you end up going back...somehow,” Hilda said, “but please we aren’t holding anything from you on purpose we’re just not sure how this is going to affect everything.”

“So you’re going to leave me in the dark the whole time I’m here,” He asked, getting frustrated.

“Not completely but Hilda’s right Claude we’re unsure if we tell you too much things might change and not for the better.” Byleth added trying to calm the brunette down seeing that he was getting visibly frustrated at the lack of information he was getting ,which was something Claude hated.

“We know it’s not in your nature to just leave things as they are but for this once please consider it?” Marianne asked her soft melodic voice usually calming wasn't helping Claude, “we just want to keep you safe and like Hilda and the Professor said we don’t know how things may or may not change.”

“Yeah Claude just, think of it as a break for now?” Leonie said, trying to console Claude, “we’re here for you know that right?”

“I haven’t told my brother anything if that helps, knowing he would want to have you immediately looked at.” Flayn said, trying to help too. Ignatz patted the girl’s shoulder knowing she was doing her best but Claude didn’t look too happy about that, even if he did appreciate not being dragged away by Seteh.

The voices around him started to merge trying to comfort Claude when it was doing the opposite. Claude tried taking a deep breath, he was still reeling from the incident in the Holy Tomb and then he found himself somehow pulled away by some relic? And what was all this talk about the Empire? What did Edelgard do? How far into the war are they in?

All these thoughts plus the voices around him weren’t helping, he could feel the walls closing in and starting to feel claustrophobic, he needed to get out, he needed to get some air. Surprising the others he pushed past them and was out of the classroom not listening to the calls and yells at his sudden departure.


	2. A Cold Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t plan, didn’t speculate, didn’t even try to hope that he’d be outside of the Monastery. He had just ignored the possibility altogether. 
> 
> And now that oversight punished him. Or maybe his rotten luck continued from where it had all crashed down in the Holy Tomb.

When he left the classroom the sun blinded his eyes for a few seconds before they managed to focus on his surroundings. He could hear the others in the classroom getting their bearings at his sudden departure scrambling to follow him so he wouldn't get too far, so he made a quick escape, keeping close to the walls of the Golden Deer classroom. He headed along the backside of the classrooms making sure to keep out of sight from anyone else from his class or anyone he could possibly recognize.

He may not know what exactly was going on, but he had enough sense to keep to the shadows of the Monastery for now at least. Peeking out of the side he could see the last of the Golden Deer leaving the classroom out searching. Once he saw that no one was heading in his direction he made his way towards the Black Eagles classroom. Glancing around one last time, he cut through the North Courtyard as fast as he could. Entering the corridor that led to the large entrance halls out towards the market or to the other side of the Academy where the training hall was.

He heard voices of the people walking around but no one he distinctly outright recognized, what really got to him when he took a closer look was that there was a mixture of soldiers both from not only the monastery, but the Kingdom of Faerghus and the Alliance! He knew he should be happy about seeing all these people from different lands coming here and working together. He just wished he knew how that happened. It had to have taken something big for the Kingdom, Alliance and Church to join forces against the Empire.He wanted to have at least an idea of what was going on. Was it some battle? Did Teach do something to convince them to join? Did it involve those people who tried to kill Byleth in the Forgotten Forest where he changed? Could the him that belonged in this time have had some part of it?

That last thought gave him a slight feeling of hope but he quickly smothered it. He preferred not to hang onto something that to him wasn’t tangible for him to grasp without reason and meaning behind it.

All these thoughts buzzing around in his head were starting to annoy him greatly, not having even a slither of information to go on a trail for him to follow or even try to see the connections. He felt almost as lost as he did when he first came to Fodlan to learn about his mother’s family, everything brand new, but his Grandfather and tutors not telling him everything making him do his own research behind their backs.

He could go down the main hall but there was a good chance of him getting spotted plus there wasn’t anywhere he could try to keep to himself and out of sight. Good timing too, since he just saw Lorenz walking around in his bright purple armor asking if anyone had seen a child running around. Claude’s eyes narrowed and made a note to get back at the Gloucester heir for that comment.He was at least sure his older self had kept some of his old concoctions hidden away in his room or possibly made new ones. Keeping out of Lorenz’s sight, he sneaked past the large decorated hall to the smaller hallway that led to the smaller garden areas. Claude headed down further, down the even narrower hallway that passed by the training room where he could hear grunts and yells of someone training.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he peeked through the small gap where the door stood ajar. Someone could look in but the ones inside wouldn’t be able to see him unless they opened the door more. He saw a figure standing in the middle of the training hall, the shorter dark indigo hair no longer tied up as he had discarded a light teal blue jacket with a furred collar in the corner, leaving him in a sleeveless turtleneck. He wasn’t alone as there with him was a female blonde knight, her armor in a neat pile to the side as she held her spear training with the swordmaster. The usual long blonde braid was cut short to her neck with smaller braids in her hair held by green ribbons.

Claude didn’t remember much about these two, only that they were _**Di-his princliness’s**_ childhood friends, especially the catty bite of Felix. He was always on edge, ready to lash out at someone if they were bothering him, especially whenever the blonde prince did something that irritated him which was usually a lot; always wanting to train and be left alone. Though Claude did recall he had seen moments where Lysithea was chasing after him with a piece of cake in her hands trying to get him to eat it. Another time Felix had been cutting wood and fruit to the amusement of Flayn, whether it was by accident or just to entertain the strange young girl.

He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard the two talking inside. He was still in the dark about a lot of things, so he leaned closer to the gap to hear them better. Since they didn’t know about his state yet _-don’t think about that-_ , they might talk about the current state of Fódlan.

“If they would just tell us something, maybe he’d be less of a boar and calm down sooner,” Felix hissed out as he slammed his sword against Ingrid’s spear, “Rushing off to try and save him. I thought he would willingly follow his master’s orders.”

“Felix, that’s not polite!” was Ingrid’s exasperated reply as Felix grunted in return. “We all were worried about him when we lost sight of him. You can’t just say the only one concerned was him when you were hitting any empire soldier within range with your Levin sword which you hardly ever take out because as you say and I quote _‘it’s a pain in the ass to maintain and I don’t like using magic.’_ With Lysithea following you and using dark spikes of all spells to get the ones you missed.” Ingrid sighed at Felix’s smirk. He would rather bite himself to stay silent than admit it, but he had bonded deeply with the girl over the last years. He would always smirk proudly when Lysithea devastated their enemies on the battlefield. Ingrid muttered something under her breath about Felix corrupting children.

“If she follows me, it’s her own fault.”

“Doesn’t stop you from encouraging her. I’ve seen you train with her in magic.”

“I’m not training with her now, I'm training with you so let’s go already.”

“Wow, I feel the joy of that sentence right there.”

“Are you going to keep talking or are we actually going to get something done here?”

“All I’m saying is you can’t blame his Highness, Felix. Since coming back here he’s been getting better than he was before.You, me and Sylvain know that since we first found him and tried to help him nothing was working. I can understand why he’d be worried about Claude. All of us can. But the Professor and the Golden Deer will let us know how serious it is and then we can pass it on to him,” Ingrid stated. She grunted, pushing Felix away and trying to jab at him with the blunt end of her spear.

He swiftly side-stepped and spun around her, his sword leveling her lance higher so he ended up behind her aiming for her back with his own weapon. “The longer we’re in the dark, the more restless the boar is going to get and we’ll end up on the end of one of his rages and we all know how that goes.” Felix spat back pushing against Ingrid.

But Ingrid brought her spear down once she freed it from Felix’s sword blocking him in return, “You don’t have to keep reminding us and as painful as it is, waiting is all we can do. At least we can be thankful for it not being so serious they needed to get Manuela. My assumption is that he just got knocked out.”

“Tch, well let’s just hope that’s ALL it is because I don’t know how much longer I can take him sulking.” Felix growled taking another step towards Ingrid, when he stopped abruptly and glared at the entrance of the training room. Claude held his breath - Felix shouldn’t be able to see him, but-

But it was right his luck today that the man stomped over, anyway.

“Hey!! Quit spying on us whoever you are! Come out right now!”

**‘Shit! I forgot how sharp his senses are!’** Claude cursed as he rapidly backed away. Felix was moving pretty fast and was about to pull the door open when he felt someone pull him aside and take his place. The flash of purple made him fear it was Lorenz that had grabbed him.

The training hall door swung open, hiding Claude behind it. He swore he could hear Felix's scowl as he opened his mouth-

“Bernadetta?”

The usually timid archer of the Black Eagles stood in front of Felix giving him a small smile, _not_ looking like she wanted to run away and hide in her room.

Claude pressed himself closer against the wall. He wasn't exaggerating - recognizing people’s mood before seeing them was a skill he had taught himself. It had saved him from nasty surprises in the past.

At this moment he was tempted to forget caution. Lean forward and around the door to peek at Felix, just to see if he wasn’t hallucinating.

Could this man really look as _soft_ as he sounded now?

But again - Bernadetta. Bernadetta, one of the most timid people Claude had ever met, who sometimes still shied away from looking anybody into the eyes the last time he’d seen her, faced Felix with a genuine smile.

“S-sorry, Felix, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I… I was just wondering if you wanted to go feed Mr. Kitty and the others later?” Bernadetta asked, keeping Felix’s attention and his senses on her as Claude made himself as small as possible. “W-we can grab Sylvain later too when he comes back from the meeting with the Golden Deers.”

From her view, Felix visibly relaxed and rubbed his head, not expecting the person to be the girl in front of him. His eyes narrowed, looking behind her and down the hallways for any signs of someone else before turning his attention back to the archer waiting for his reply.

“Yeah, that sounds fine. I’ll meet you by the fishing pond in a bit and drag Sylvain too, let me just finish up training, alright? I should be done in a bit.” Felix said in a surprisingly calm voice, much different from his usual sharp tone.

Bernadetta smiled, glowing happily when Felix agreed with a hint of a smile on his own face.

“O-okay! I’ll meet you by the fish pond later then! Thank you, Felix!” she said smiling. “I’ll let you get back to your training!”

The swordmaster nodded, turning around walking back inside, ignoring the sly grin on Ingrid’s face as Felix quickly went back to training with her, telling the knight in training to just focus on trying to beat him rather than his private conversation.

Claude let out a sigh of relief. Felix seemed the same as ever with his personality even back at the academy. He knew how prickly Felix and determined he could get when he had a goal in mind. A good example was the time he had seen him actively looking for the shy recluse archer of the Black Eagles muttering about some training technique.

“C-C-Claude? Is that...is that really you?” Bernadetta’s voice asked next to him, breaking him from his thoughts on the archer next to him.

“Y-yeah...kinda? Can we talk somewhere privately? I don’t think the training hallway is a good place,” Claude asked. Thankfully Bernadetta seemed to understand, gently grasping his sleeve and pulling him down the hallway until they were near the stables.

They walked passed the horses and straight into the wyvern aerie where the great beasts lifted their heads up but didn’t seem to pay them any mind. Bypassing all the common brown ones until they got to the back where Claude’s green eyes widened when he saw a beautiful white wyvern bandaged and resting on a large nest of hay. Claude felt his heart break when he moved closer to her and kneeled before her.

“Starlight...oh what happened sweetie…” Claude asked his voice soft, his feet moving on his own to get to the wyvern’s side, gently petting his wyvern’s head and receiving a soft growl from her. The wyvern bumped her head against his head as if trying to reassure him she was alright. He wrapped his arms around her neck hugging her. At least she was something of a constant - the sweet albino wyvern he found, saved, and raised himself as his one true friend growing up.

“S-she was injured pretty badly from your mission…” Bernadetta said, taking a seat next to Claude. She looked over him curiously, like she was really taking in that this was the Claude from the Academy she sometimes asked for help with her archery when she pulled herself out of her room. “ The P-Professor said that you were hurt and needed some time to recuperate but that’s not just it, is it?”

Tentivavely she reached out and touched Claude’s hand. She didn’t feel any of the familiar callousness from the constant battles they had been getting into, it was still rather smooth and soft for the most part. Looking up into Claude’s eyes, the tired, exhausted work of being the tactician of both armies and running them wasn’t present, either.

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” Claude commented, looking at her. She gave a nervous smile as she let go of his hand and scooted closer, trying to give some unspoken comfort to Claude. He appreciated it and relaxed more.

“S-seeing relic weapons in action along with the great beasts that have been showing up more and more lately plus what happened to the Professor, it doesn’t seem too far fetched I guess?” Bernadetta replied, smiling nervously as she shrugged. “It… it is still rather peculiar, I mean you’re _**younger**_.”

“You’re telling me, Bernadetta what has been going on and please tell me something,” Claude asked as the girl bit his lip. “I just...no one is telling me anything and I feel like I have nothing to ground me to this whole thing.”

“W-well you can probably guess we’re at war with the Empire… Edelgard…” Bernadette said softly, looking down as she played with the ends of her outfit.

“We’re at a stalemate more or less, but right now we’re just trying to fortify the Monastery and taking refugees. That’s all I can really say for now, I’m not part of the majority table to discuss plans, I’m sorry.” She squeezed Claude’s hand softly and smiled when she got another in return and couldn’t help but squeak in surprise when Claude used his free hand and reached over to pat the girl’s head. He smiled when she flinched only a little instead of completely avoiding his hand.

“It’s alright, you’ve told me more than even my own teacher and classmates. But when did you come to the monastery and not…” Claude said trailing off and Bernadette gave a weak smile. Letting go of Claude’s hand, she held out one of her arms, slowly rolling up one of the sleeves. This revealed reddened skin on her palms and lower arms...as if at one point she had been near fire.

“It was a major battle and at the time I... I had believed in her but then… she had set fire to my post without any warning and I would’ve… would’ve…” Bernadette said, shivering in the memories. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes as she rolled down her sleeves, tugging on them, making sure they were covered completely.

“And I would have if Felix and Sylvain hadn’t been close by and saved me, ahahaha… Never thought someone like me would’ve been worth saving but they seemed to think so. So I’ve been here since that battle and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful…”

“......I’m sorry, Bernadette. I didn’t mean to bring up those memories,” Claude said, feeling guilty as she wiped her eyes. “Sometimes I need to work on my way of asking questions and not ask the ones that others may not want to bring up.”

“It’s alright. A-a-anyway, I wasn’t the only one saved. There were lots of others that came back with us that day,” Bernadetta said. “So….about you what’s going to happen now? You can’t stay like this. I'm sure everyone is going to be worried.”

“I’m sure they’re already worried since I kinda ditched them a while back,” Claude huffed, messing with his braid. “I was feeling so claustrophobic with them crowding around me and it was nice to have them be supportive, but leaving me in the dark gives me a bad taste in my mouth.”

“I… I get it, and I know they’re probably just wanting to protect you, but…” Bernadette said as Claude finished her sentence.

“I don’t want to be protected, I can defend myself even if I am younger than my other self here.” He leaned against his wyvern, as Bernadetta just stayed by his side letting him rant and vent as she watched his fingers dancing across the smooth scales of his wyvern’s head. “It’s really annoying.”

“I know it’s not much comfort but I may not know much but I’d be happy to help you if I can,” she said softly, “Y-you can hide in a lot of places. I know plenty if you just want to get away from others.”

Claude chuckled, not surprised Bernadette would know the best places to hide in the monastery. Bernadetta couldn’t help but chuckle as well, glad she got an honest laugh out of Claude.

“Might have to take you up on that.” Claude replied grinning, feeling a bit better. At least someone wasn’t talking to him like he was made of glass and had to be kept in the dark for their own safety. He pulled Bernadetta closer, moving her hand closer to Starlight’s head and letting her pet the Albino wyvern’s head. Bernadetta gasped when she felt the smooth scales under her fingers.

“She’s so pretty,” Bernadette said in awe as Starlight seemed to purr happily at the pets she was getting. Their moment was interrupted, Bernadetta quietly yelping as Claude pulled her closer to the side of his wyvern to keep out of sight.

“Claude! Are you in here!? Come on, it’s not cool for you to run off like that, this is serious!” Leonie’s rough voice called from the aerie’s entrance. “What if one of the lords came by and saw you like this? Ya gotta think more about this!”

“Please Claude, we didn’t mean to crowd you like that,” Marianne’s soft voice called out as well. Their footsteps crunched on the hay that lay on the floor of the aerie that was the nests for the wyverns. Some were growling at the unexpected guests but they paid them no heed once they saw that they weren’t going to do anything. Claude didn’t share the same sentiments.

“Well, time for me to move,” Claude grumbled, giving one last pet to his wyvern, and stood up, Bernadetta joining him as he helped her up. They slipped out the other way of the Wyvern aerie and headed past the main hallway. So far it looked like they were out of sight and mind for the moment. Unfortunately Lorenz was for some reason still in the great main hall talking to one of the church soldiers. Claude cursed when he spotted him just as he stepped foot on the inside.

“Claude, there you are! Stop this nonsense and let’s back to the Professor, alright? H-hey! Where are you going!? Get back here!” Lorenz demanded as he tried to follow the two archers.

Bernadette had quickly pulled him to the side entrance from where they cut through the gardens and hid behind one of the nooks covered by one of the columns of the walls pressing close. Thankfully one of the larger bushes hid them as Lorenz, Marianne and Leonie passed by them.

“Nice going Lorenz, you made him run,” Leonie groused out, annoyed. The noble faltered as he fixed the orange-haired girl with a look himself, keeping up with her pace.

“I could see you were having just as much success as I was in locating Claude from the looks of it. He just escaped you and I was just the lucky one that happened to spot him,” Lorenz argued right back to her.

“Let’s just try to find him, please? No fighting,” Marianne said, oddly confident. The two of them turned their heads towards her and nodded.

They luckily passed their hiding spot without further looking. Claude had wrapped his arms around Bernadetta so they could squeeze into the space that would usually only fit one person. Once he was sure they were gone, Claude peeked out and pulled Bernadetta with him. She was a bit red but seemed alright.

“Well, this is a bit of a bust.” They left the gardens, walking alongside the dormitories side. He tried to think of some place where he could get some time to himself. As they walked together in silence, the Golden Deer leader couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander, his brain still trying to put together what little information he had and what little Bernadette was able to tell him.

_I’m not supposed to be here. They’re MY Golden Deers but they’re not at the same time..._

_How much do they know, how much have I told them?_

_How much are they going to keep from me?_

_Can I trust them?_

_Can they trust me?_

_Do they trust me?_

_Why won’t they tell me anything?_

He distantly sensed Bernadetta’s worried gaze on him. They stopped, pausing for a bit right near the corridor that led to the bridge to the cathedral. The more the thoughts swirled in his head, the more it seemed to visibly upset him. She was about to reach out and see if he was alright when a voice surprised them both making them both jump.

_**“Claude!”** _

The two turned. Hilda was rushing towards them, looking like she was ready to drag Claude back to the classroom, willing or unwilling. More thoughts just crashed into his head the closer Hilda got, making him unconsciously take a step back. He needed to keep space between them, he needed space to think-

Bernadetta laid her arms on Hilda’s in an attempt to calm her down and keep her distance from him, but his thoughts still stormed through his mind.

_How can I trust them to tell me the truth?_

_Hilda and Teach are barely telling me anything?_

_How much are they going to hide from me, can I change anything?_

_Would they **LET** me change anything?_

“Claude!! I know you want answers, but running around the monastery like you are isn’t going to help!” Hilda shouted as she side-stepped Bernadetta and reached for him, and he backed away from her again. Why wouldn’t she listen?

“H-Hilda, please stop!” Bernadette shouted, suddenly clenching her hands around Hilda’s biceps. The older girl paused in shock. “I-I know you want to take Claude back, but you’re not making it easy for him. It’s why he ran off in the first place!”

Hilda glanced over at Claude who still seemed to be stuck in his own head and was now worried about him even more. Bernadette gave Hilda a determined look on keeping her away even though she was aware how close she and Claude were as friends in the Golden Deer. The two looked at Claude when they heard a loud vexed growl from Claude uneasy by the sounds he was making.

Hilda knew that despite how collected and easy going Claude was there were moments when he just wanted to be left alone and sort through his thoughts, when he got like this and just stayed stuck in his own head until she either had to force open the doors herself or convince Ashe to pick the lock of his door since no one besides Claude could pick locks.

“Claude? Hey I’m sorry if I was yelling we really are just worried about you.” Hilda called out not moving from her spot but she could already tell the other was deaf to her calls.

“Claude? Please say something?” Bernadette asked even though she was closer and was able to see Claude mumbling under his breath.

“Oh no this isn't good.” Hilda grimaced out recognizing that look on her friend’s face as Bernadette looked back at her, “Claude can get stuck in his own head with his schemes and it could be a bit before he ‘wakes up’ from them.”

“O-oh no…” Bernadette said uneasy, turning full to look at Claude.

_What do I do? I need more information, I need to know what’s going on, I can’t be a burden, I can’t be useless, I need to trust them no choice…trust them, trust them, I have to trust them I have-_

Sharp green eyes narrowed at her when he seemed to break through his thoughts. Swallowing nervously she continued to try and convince him to follow her back to the others.

“Hilda… why won’t you talk to me?” Claude clenched his hand tightly to his side. “You and the others are trying to protect from something I don’t even know!”

“I know that and we feel bad but-”

“Don’t say it’s for my own good, Hilda!”

Hilda closed her mouth as Claude threw her an aggravated look.

“It’s only been less than a day and I’m already feeling so closed in so just leave me alone!”

“Claude, wait don’t be like this!”

“C-Claude! W-watch out!”

He turned around to leave, to run away again, only to crash into somebody’s armor. In surprise he reeled back and almost into Bernadetta -he heard her squeak-, when a metal gauntlet grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

Claude’s eyes shot open at the cold pressure on his skin. But his own body froze when he looked up only to see a single, sapphire blue. His heart staggered; his mouth went dry.  
  
In theory, he had already known that _he_ was also in the Monastery after eavesdropping on Ingrid and Felix. Not only that, but _he_ had been in the same battle as Claude’s older self, and _he_ had demanded to see Claude’s older self.

None of that information had been able to settle. Claude had heard it but not processed it among everything else he tried to make desperately sense of.

He had also ignored the idea of what he would do if he happened to see _him_ \- he didn’t plan, didn’t speculate, didn’t even try to hope that _he’d_ be outside of the Monastery. He had just ignored the possibility altogether.

And now that oversight punished him. Or maybe his rotten luck continued from where it had all crashed down in the Holy Tomb.

That blonde hair had grown out of its pristine cut, all mussed and falling into his face and down to where it brushed against the back of obsidian black armor. A large, black and white cape befitting a hunter rested on his shoulders.

Dimitri loomed over Claude, surprised, even taller and broader than he remembered.

Hilda called out behind him. Her voice was muffled by another that echoed over every other sound - frosty, detached, like the icy grip around his wrist.

_As soon as he and the other Golden Deer were released from the gathering with Lady Rheam announcing to the whole monastery what had transpired down in the Holy Tomb, his only thoughts focused on finding a certain Prince. He had forgone getting healed by Marianne or seeing Manulea, ignoring this still aching body that was demanding him to rest or at least get bandaged._

_He ran to the Blue Lion classroom where he slammed the doors open. There was hardly anyone inside but Ashe, Mercedes and Annette. They looked worried as they were talking in hushed whispers until Claude came in. He quickly asked them if they had seen Dimitri and they looked at each other before telling Claude that Dimitri and Dedue had left the classroom moments before he had come in._

_Thanking them and waving Mercedes off when she offered to heal him, he kept his pace to look for the Prince, It wasn’t long until the adrenaline was running out and he could feel every bruise on his body from when he had to use his axe when some of the bandits had gotten too close to him. It didn’t take long to spot both the prince and his retainer in the courtyard in front of the dorms._

_He must have heard Claude. He stopped and looked behind him and with a nod, Dedue let him rush after Dimitri who had just kept walking. His strides were heavy and long as every two steps he took made him take an extra three, just to even get close to him as they entered the dormitories. Dimitri’s muttering echoing in the hall like the voices of ghosts Claude had to cut through._

_His fingers barely brushed against the prince’s gauntlet, when that arm twisted around and grasped Claude’s wrist like a vice._

_The dark glare he received sent a shudder through him. Not out of fear for himself, but for the state of Dimitri’s mind. He had seen such eyes in soldiers whose memories were trapped in horrors of past battles they couldn't move away from._

_“Dimitri, please, please come back to me, I know you’re upset-”_

_“Stand aside, Claude, there are things I must do now that she has decided to show her true face!”_

_“I know you do, but I’m worried about you, this isn’t the right kind of mindset!”_

_Dimitri just gave him a stony look. “I have only one goal in mind now, Claude.”_

_“Dimitri! Please listen, I’m trying to help-”_

_He bit his lip in pain as the pressure on his wrist increased, grinding the bones against each other. He grabbed Dimitri’s hand to try and get him to release him, but it felt like trying to move a boulder. Did he even notice Claude’s tugging?_

_“You do not understand, she must pay for her crimes for those that she had used for her own goals!”_

_“I get that much, but you’re going about this the wrong way! Dima, please, I want to help you I-ow! Dima!”_

_He suddenly found himself a few inches away from the Prince’s face. Dread welled up inside him as those blue eyes -once so warm- coldly pierced through his very being. The prince hissed something so quietly that only Claude would hear._

_“As if you wouldn't discard me if I got in the way of whatever schemes you are plotting.”_

_With that he tossed Claude away so that he fell to the floor, nursing his throbbing wrist close to his chest. He stared back as his whole body froze - all he could do was gawk in disbelief at the emotionless eyes that still pierced straight into him. Those eyes which dropped him in an icy pond to drown as one of the few people he trusted in Fódlan was now looking at him with the same expression as those from everybody else who sneered and called him untrustworthy and said ‘You don’t belong’._

_“If you won’t assist me in getting her head, then Claude Von Riegan, we are done.”_

_He could only watch Dimitri walk away and vanish in his room, shutting the door without another look at him. He vaguely heard Dedue asking if he was okay, if he was hurt. When he didn’t answer,Dedue picked the young Leicester heir up and carried him to the infirmary where many of the Golden Deer were worried when Claude didn’t say anything and just sat on the bed, all those words echoing inside._

His whole body trembled as those words surged back up again. His free hand gripped his uniform as all the pain, all the emotions from that moment came flooding back.

The confused expression of the hulking figure melted into those cruel, cold, blue eyes. It was the same, it was happening again- the same gauntlet, the same hand gripping and crushing his wrist, the same ice on his skin before he would toss him aside, before he would say-

Getawaygetawaygetawayit’snottrueIwouldn’ttrustmepleaseDimadon’tleavemedon’tleavemedon’t-!!

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe!

“C-Claude? Wha-”

Claude broke free with a cry that wrenched out from his chest. He yanked his arm away, turned on his heel, and ran, just ran, without thought, without destination, the only thing left in his mind to escape from the uncaring glacier eyes of a blonde prince he once trusted his heart to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this story is going to get worse before it gets better it will get better I promise I just need to get through some angst before that can happen.
> 
> Thanks again for my beta @trinketelysium and @ruah/twitter for the commissioned art piece for this chapter!


	3. Reflections of what we once were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Claude von Riegan?”
> 
> Eyes flew open. Where was he again?
> 
> His whole body jolted against the wall when a hand laid on his shoulder. He had heard nobody approach or call him. His hand automatically flew to where he kept his dagger hidden on him at all times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of Claude having a panic attack in this chapter.

Claude didn’t know where he was running to. All he wanted right now, at this very moment, was to get far away from those eyes and just try to forget the encounter he just had, to go somewhere and just stay there for the rest of the day. 

  
The last of winter sun’s light clung to the far horizon. On the other end, the pearlescent moon was already rising high. Stars blanketed the vast expanse in between, twinkling coldly in the black-blue void as the planet turned. Torches were being lit along the stone pathways of the monastery making it easier for Claude to see where he was running to and avoid being seen by anyone walking this late. 

He wasn’t really focusing on a destination. He just wanted to not be at that spot any longer.

_‘Not again!_ _I_ _refuse to get hurt again, especially by the same person! Not by someone_ _I_ _once trusted!_ _Someone I…’ those thoughts rushed through his mind in terrified circles_ as he ran alongside the buildings, still unconsciously avoiding being caught. He had that momentarily surprise factor that let him escape both him and Hilda for now. Though that didn’t stop the onslaught of memories filtering in. 

_Armored arms wrapped around him, holding him nervously and tightly. Light laughter erupted from_ _Claude’s_ _mouth_ _in response to the shy hold_ _as_ _his_ _slimmer arms curled around the other’s neck, pulling him close, cuddling him._ _It turned the other lord_ _an adorable rose pink._

_A quick peck for good luck outside the training hall_ _made_ _him_ _turn tomato red_ _instead_ _and_ _left him_ _sputtering_ _incoherently_ _as the other grinned happily, practically skipping away back to his own lesson and_ _ignoring the mess of a prince he left behind._

Shaking his head furiously, Claude skidded to a halt somewhere on top of a grassy area, taking deep breaths. His heart thundered furiously inside his chest as he whipped his head around. The place he had arrived at was mostly empty save for a few stray cats that roamed the monastery. He had run all the way from the bridge to the greenhouse. 

  
‘ _No wonder I’m out of breath.’_ Claude thought, trying to catch his breath. It came out in white puffs like clouds. 

  
He clasped his arms around himself, shivering. With the night had also fallen the temperature and he was woefully underdressed in his uniform alone. He had been able to ignore it while running, but now the breeze cut against his bare throat, seeped in through the cloth to reach for every sweaty patch on his body. 

_  
‘Fódlan really has it out for me today, huh?’_

He knew he should probably get out of the area, anyway, as he recalled Bernadetta said she was going to be in this area with Felix and Sylvain to feed the stray cats. He didn’t feel like dealing with anyone else right now, even if he knew that Bernadetta and Sylvain could stop Felix from pushing. But if he went inside the Monastery… Claude’s stomach turned. Alone the idea of running into anybody right now without losing the last threads of his fraying control… No, absolutely not an option. 

Rubbing his face - ignoring the jitter in his hand -, he turned around to the Greenhouse.

The lack of any activity inside tipped his decision.

Slowly walking in, scanning his surroundings, he headed to a corner in the back of the building. He _tried_ to calm himself as he slid to the ground to sit, but his thoughts… his mind… the memories were still going. 

_  
An exchange of glances, candlelight in the library reflecting soft blue eyes as they sat close with books in front of them. Quiet_ _murmurs_ _between_ _them,_ _looking for solace in the solitude of the night, spending time together without the eyes of others on them._

  
Pulling his knees close to his chest, trying to make himself look as small as possible, Claude still reeled from running into _him_ of all people. Though, thinking about it now, he shouldn’t have been surprised - if Sylvain and the other Blue Lions were here, it was to be expected _he_ would be present as well.

_Sweet kisses in the darkness of_ _their_ _dorms, giving them a moment to_ _themselves_ _._ _T_ _he kisses continued onto the night warm, bodies pressed together on soft sheets, comforting each other’s nightmares away._

_‘Did he really mean that when he said that? That we’re done?’_ he thought, his body starting to shake with the cold realization.

_Coming back from a mission request from Lorenz’s father about some_ _lord_ _uprising,_ _not to mention_ _dealing with both of them_ _together_ _was always migraine inducing_ _,_ _he stops,_ _surprised, when he_ _sees him_ _standing shyly_ _in front of his dorm,_ _with_ _snacks_ _in one hand from one of his classmates. He smiles back and_ _lets himself get pulled inside_ _to_ _rest_ _after a long,_ _tiresome mission._ ** _  
  
_**

_‘I thought...we made that promise together…’_ Hands gripped his pants tightly as Claude lowered his head to rest on top of his knees.

_A secret rendezvous after the social obligations of the ball, the two of them dance under the moonlight inside the Goddess’s Tower, making their vow together under the full moon._

Claude’s fingers gripped tighter as he tried to ignore the sting in his eyes.

_  
‘Was I really such a fool to lay my heart out to him?’_ he thought as he felt the tears slipping out and onto his uniform, _‘I forgot how much it hurt to trust someone like that when they hurt you in the end.’_

_“C-Claude, what is it_ _that_ _you’re scheming this time?”_

_“You should be in bed by now, Claude, it’s very late.”_

_“_ _Apologies for waking you but…_ _m-may… I… stay here for the night?”_

_“Claude, come here I found something fascinating you would appreciate!”_

_“Claude… I… I…”_

_“_ **_We are_ ** **_through_ ** **_.”_ **

“Claude von Riegan?”

  
Eyes flew open. Where was he again?  
  


His whole body jolted against the wall when a hand laid on his shoulder. He had heard nobody approach or call him. His hand automatically flew to where he kept his dagger hidden on him at all times. 

But the spot was empty. His hand clenched and unclenched and still only found cloth in place of the handle’s shape.

  
Claude’s assailant had the superior vantage, he was literally pressed into a corner, and he had lost his dagger. He was literally defenseless.

  
Panic breaking through, it had him kick his legs out to-

  
Another hand landed on the other side of his shoulder, light, warm, but it was the familiar voice that stopped him short.

  
“Claude, calm yourself,” a deep baritone said over the din in his ears. “You are safe, you are back in the Monastery. No one is going to hurt you.”

  
“I apologize for scaring you, I didn’t realize how deep in thought you we-” 

  
The rest of the words failed to register in Claude’s head. What mattered was that the voice kept talking with that gentle, familiar cadence, grounding him, leading him back out of the dark place his mind had fallen into. 

His breathing still refused to heed his orders and calm down, but it gave him time to collect his wits. He could at least pretend to be in control.

_  
‘Keep lying to yourself, won’t you.’_

  
“A bit late for that, and you don’t know that for sure.” Claude’s dry reply eventually came, looking up and seeing the retainer of- 

  
“Hello, Dedue, a bit late for you to be out, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be with, ya know, his highness?” he added, trying to play his earlier emotions off.  
  


The quiet retainer and bodyguard of a certain prince - thankfully - didn’t say anything more. He just took a seat right close by, yet far enough away that Claude could easily slip past him if he so chose. 

He silently observed Claude as the now young Leicester heir wiped his eyes with his sleeve, futilely trying to hide the fact that he was vulnerable and crying. It was his version of encouraging others to talk with him; he had offered Claude in the past - which past? - his ears before when he just needed to _vent_.

  
This kindness just made his eyes burn more.

“Bet this is a surprise to see me like this, huh? All me but not exactly me.” Claude said, another attempt to make a joke of his situation. His mind had switched tracks back to his previous thoughts, refusing to slow down as that run in broke the dam of memories he had been holding back. 

_  
Come on, your princliness! It’s all in good fun!_

_C-Claude_ _,_ _could you not call me that and just-_ _  
__  
__  
Just? _ _  
  
_

_Call me by my name_ _,_ _please? I do not wish for my title to hold people back from being honest with me._

_So I can call you Dimitri then?_

_Ye-yes_ _,_ _I’d appreciate that…_

_Alrighty then_ _,_ _Dimitri~ Let’s go to the mess hall and get dinner together_ _,_ _shall we?_

“Who would’ve thought something like this would’ve been possible, eh? Then again Teach seems to be able to pull miracles out of nowhere, just look at them and what they’re capable of.” Claude chuckled sardonically, not looking at the gentle giant next to him.

_Dima~ Dima~ Dima~_ **_Mitya!_ **

_D-did you need something_ _,_ _Claude?_

_Not really, I just like saying your name_ _,_ _that’s all~_

_I-tha-that’s!!_ **_Claude_ ** **_,_ ** **_please!_ **

“Coming back from a dark void spell, I thought things couldn’t get any stranger but then with the whole circumstance of the Holy Tomb incident and just everything going downhill after that...” Claude said, his voice getting quieter, “Who would’ve seen what happened afterwards coming…”

_  
Chasing after the Prince again after that night, not believing the words said then, but every time he tried_ _,_ _it ended up hurting more each time he was rejected._

_-Mitya_ _,_ _can we_ _please_ _talk about-_

_Not now_ _,_ _Claude._

_But about what you said-_

_I said not now_ _,_ _Claude._

_-Dima? Hey_ _,_ _maybe can we talk now about you know? I really_ _want to_ _know if we-_

_Claude? I’m in the middle or something right now_ _,_ _there’s things I need to focus on._

_But Dima_ _,_ _did you really mean_ _what you said_ _-_

_I have training now, excuse me._

_Yeah sure_ _,_ _alright._

_-Dimitri hey, it’s getting pretty late_ _,_ _you know_ _,_ _and_ _you’re always getting on me for staying up_ _,_ _let’s-_

_I’ve got too much work to do right now, can’t it wait?_

_I… I mean maybe but I just want to talk-_

_If it can wait_ _,_ _then it’s not important._

_I-s-sure… alright._

_\- Hey, your princliness! mind if I steal you away for a moment or two? It’ll be quick I promise!_

_What is it now_ _,_ _Claude?_

_Just a quick question_ _,_ _I promise then I’ll be out of your pretty hair!_

_Fine_ _,_ _what is it you wished to ask?_

_Just some clarification! That night when I found you after the Holy Tomb incident_ _,_ _did you mean what you said to me?_

_What exactly did I say?_

_You… don’t recall?_

_If it was meaningful_ _,_ _then I would have a clue what you are_ _referring to._

_Ah… nevermind then_ _,_ _you answered my question_ _. S_ _orry to bother you, your princliness!_

“Hahaha… I really messed up this time around… I should’ve… should’ve...” Claude laughed cynically at his own foolishness, as he felt more tears gathering in his eyes. He didn’t bother to wipe them away this time. “I guess there really were more important things to him. I just didn’t believe he meant it when he… he…”

“Claude, listen to me…” Dedue’s deep voice said. Muscled arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close.   


His first instinct was to fight and struggle, but the man’s strength held him firmly, but so gently and warmly that his paranoia died as fast as it had reared up. “Follow my breathing, please.”

He hadn't realized he was hyperventilating until, with one or two false starts, he followed his example. He felt Dedue's chest expand when he inhaled and held his breath; he felt it fall as he let the air out much slower than he had breathed in. 

  
The repetitive rhythm was hypnotic, easy. The arms around him were warm and grounded him. 

  
Eventually, finally, the panic receded slowly, but surely, Dedue having accomplished what he had failed at. Claude let himself sag against him in exhaustion.

  
It’s funny. He never thought he would get close to him, but when he and his princliness had gotten closer, it was almost inevitable that he would make friends with the tall stoic Duscarian.

The fact that his princeliness' three childhood friends hadn't managed that in the years they had known Dedue compared to how Claude befriended him in a few weeks, and when Dedue was such a wonderful person... 

  
The less he said on the trio, the better.

They stayed in silence for a few more minutes. Claude would have been content to stay that way, hiding in the greenhouse until morning, dozing in Dedue’s peaceful presence… If not for his stupid, paranoid, always active mind rearing for another run to analyze, overthink, panic because what would happen once morning came? 

  
He must have been fidgeting, as his companion loosened his embrace around him.

  
“I don’t know… how this came to be, and I won’t pry if you don’t want to talk about it, but how do you feel?” He asked. That seemed to be the final smash to break the wall of emotions Claude had been holding back all day and which now resurged.  
  


“I don’t know!? How the hell am I supposed to feel!? The last thing I remember is talking to his princliness one last time before walking away and suddenly I’m knocked out waking up with Teach overhead, asking if I’m injured!” Claude explained, gripping his head tightly, feeling the pressure of emotions from earlier come flooding back. 

“Everything is different, I’m five years into the future which saying out loud makes it even more ridiculous, everyone is older, I have no idea what’s going on, no one is telling me anything, and the only thing I know for sure is that Edelgard started her war and that it’s lasted this long! 

“I have no idea what’s been done or what’s in planning for the past half decade! They keep saying it’s for the best and they don’t want anything to accidentally change, but the problem is that they don’t know what can change if I did anything and just seem to want to keep me confined and out of everything! I’m getting really sick of it!”

  
“They’re trying to protect you.” Dedue tried to say. He was given a withering glare for his response as Claude scowled darkly, turning his head away.

“They're not doing a very good job of it. If anything, they’re just making me angrier with all these hidden agendas. I’m sick and tired of being talked over, ignored, and people making decisions for me.” Claude muttered, letting out an angry huff, as he ran a hand through his brown locks. 

  
“I don’t mean to unload all this on you, Dedue. You don’t deserve this heat.”

  
“I’m happy to help you if I can. I know the feeling of people holding back and not wanting to say what they truly mean to you.” Dedue replied, glancing down at the younger Riegan heir. He added, “If it’s any consolation, his highness hasn’t been in the right state of mind since everyone left the Academy. The years of isolation did not help his fragile disposition either.”

  
“Isolation? I figured if we all left the Officer’s Academy, the first thing would be him going back to the Kingdom.” 

  
Dedue made a noise of agreement as he continued.

  
“There was an apparent plot against his highness which ended him having to flee the Kingdom and stay hidden for years until we found him.” Dedue clarified, shifting where he was sitting. He looked to the side. “If you wish, I can tell you more later once you’ve had time to rest.”

  
Claude squinted his eyes at his reaction but let it go. He was frankly too exhausted to investigate this new mystery next to everything else. Dedue had offered to give the information on his own which was as good as a vow coming from him.

And Claude had a potential idea what that plot had entailed. The few times that his princliness would talk about his home, it always seemed to come back to a battle with the nobles that were in-charge and his uncle wasn’t helping matters, either. 

_  
‘This is why I was trying to help you. I knew something like this had to be going on behind your back and you walked right into it!’_ Claude thought furiously remembering putting together new plans to try and protect him but after the fallout it seemed they weren’t necessary.

  
“Also in his highness’s state of mind, he has forgotten a few details, I believe.” Claude just responded with a harsh laugh.

“So I’m just a forgotten detail, huh. I’m not surprised, it didn’t seem like I was that important to him after the Holy Tomb,” Claude said bitterly. “He just wanted to focus on things relevant to _her_. No matter what I tried, he decided I wasn’t worth his time- not like it wouldn’t be the first time someone’s done that.”

“Claude, please, his highness is healing and he’s not as bad as he had been...” Dedue tried again to have the younger man to listen, but he wasn’t having it. 

  
“Please don’t try and excuse him. We both know he was serious no matter what his state of mind was. He only cared for one thing and that obviously wasn’t me.” 

  
Dedue frowned, clearly wanting to say more, when his eyes widened about what he tried to defend of his highness actions. 

  
His mouth clicked shut. 

  
Because what Claude said was true - all that had mattered to Dimitri, since that day in the Holy Tomb, far into the present was his quest for vengeance. He would only insult him - and lie to himself - if he insisted otherwise.

  
Sighing, Dedue reached over and picked Claude up in his arms. The other didn’t even protest letting himself get carried off, head lolling against his chest. He tucked his discarded coat around him to ward off the chill and to hide the yellow accents of Claude’s uniform.

As they left the greenhouse, Dedue made sure to look around for anyone else. Once he was sure it was clear, he headed back to the dorms. He did glance over as he passed the fishing lake and saw Sylvain holding out a large candle holder as Felix and Bernadetta were feeding the last of the stray cats in the monastery. A particularly small kitten had made itself home on Bernadetta’s shoulder, scratching at Felix every time he tried to pick it up.

  
Sylvain looked over and caught Dedue’s glance. He couldn’t see exactly who he was carrying but he got a good idea and nodded, subtly shifting over to block Felix’s sight. 

  
Claude lifted his head to look around when they finally stopped. His eyes widened as he realized just where they were- that the dorm in front of them-

  
“Since going back to your dorm is most likely where people will be looking for you, you could take up this space for now,” Dedue said softly, putting Claude down. He stared at the doors to a room he hadn’t visited in what felt like ages. “He hasn’t slept here since returning and it would be the last place anyone would look for you.”

  
“I… are you sure?” Claude looked at Dedue. “Pretty sure Felix or Sylvain might realize someone is in there. You know, since if what you say is true that no one has claimed this for themselves.”

“I hardly think they would pay attention on who’s taking up an abandoned dorm.” Dedue rationalized and gently pushed Claude closer. “Rest, I believe is the best course of action for now. I can tell you’ve already had a lot to deal with today so please take a break.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks. I think that’s what I really need right now... can you just- uh, at least tell Teach where I am?” He asked Deude who nodded, watching as Claude opened the door, slipping inside before shutting and locking it.

  
Leaning against the doors, listening as Dedue’s heavy footsteps walked away, he looked around the abandoned room. It was at least clean, but besides the essentials there wasn’t really much of a personal touch left.

_‘Then again he wasn’t much for making it personal anyways…’_ Claude thought as he walked around his fingers, brushing against the wooden desk. Curiosity got the better of him - he knew there was probably little to no chance of any item being left inside the set of drawers, but he couldn’t help but want to check anyway. 

Of course he seemed to be eating his own words a lot today.

As soon as he opened the top drawer of the desk, he spotted a small piece of blue cloth wrapped around something. When his fingers closed around the shape, his throat tightened. 

“He… kept it?” 

Picking it up hesitantly after unknotting the cloth ties, he rolled the familiar small piece of metal as one last memory filtered into his head.

_It was a free day at the academy and the two of them decided to spend that time together outside under the shade of a tree_ _in a little hidden area where no one could spot them._ _Dimitri_ _was_ _reading a book while Claude rested his head in the other’s lap_ _,_ _sighing happily and comfortably, his_ _own book long forgotten in his own lap._ _The last piece to make this heaven was how Dimitri was brushing his fingers through his hair. His hand always returned to a specific strand, Claude noticed to his amusement._

_“Mitya~ keep playing with my braid and it’ll come undone,” Claude teased, opening a single eye to look up at the young heir who turned red, flustered that he was caught with said object in his hand._ _“W_ _hat’s so interesting about it_ _,_ _hmm?”_

_“Apologies, Claude, it’s just something I find myself drawn to,” was Dimitri’s embarrassed reply as he had yet to let go. “It looks really good on you_ _and I can’t help but want to reach out to it._ _”_

_“Ahahaha does that mean you want your own braid, too? I’m afraid your hair’s much too short,” Claude chuckled as he reached up and played with the golden blonde locks._ _He smiled up. “A_ _t least right now. Come on_ _,_ _I have an idea.”_

_Dimitri_ _stared_ _at Claude with that adorably confused look. It_ _made him_ _laugh sitting up_ _,_ _kissing his cheek affectionately_ _,_ _leaving the poor prince stunned_ _and flustered_ _._ _Pulling Dimitri up from the ground, he urged him to follow back to his room._

_When they entered Claude’s mess of a dorm room_ _,_ _Dimitri looked around at the mountain of book piles all over the bed and floor along with documents and papers that were all askew with no sense of organization. Claude paid no heed to the mess and seemed to be searching for something under his bed._

_“Claude, how in the world do you sleep in this mess?” Dimitri asked as he stepped over a pile of books in the middle of the room with some notes next to them_ _._ _“It’s so chaotic in here.”_

_“You get used to it_ _._ _But_ _that’s one of the reasons I like going over to your dorm and sleeping there!” Claude’s muffled voice replied before he pulled out a small,_ _earthly colored box decorated with_ _intricate_ _gold designs_ _from under his bed_ _. “A_ _ha! Found it! Now it should be inside and…”_

_Dimitri waited patiently behind Claude as he rummaged for whatever he was looking for. Shortly after the Golden Deer Leader turned to him with a grin and with something behind his back after closing the box and setting it on his bed._

_  
Dimitri raised an eyebrow._

_“Mitya_ _,_ _gimme your hand!”_ _he said, his grin growing even wider, sparkling_ _. Dimitri chuckled as he_ _did_ _. Claude_ _took it and gently placed_ _a small metal clasp in the center of his palm._ _“T_ _his is a promise! Once your hair is long enough_ _,_ _you’re going to give this back and let me braid your hair, okay?”_

_  
Afraid he’d ruin the small metal piece with his strength_ _,_ _he kept it open in his palm and_ _peered_ _at what Claude had given him. He could see unfamiliar intricate carvings into the metal no bigger than one of his fingers, but it was similar to the metal clasp that Claude had in his own hair holding his braid together._

_  
“So? Do you promise_ _,_ _Mitya? Let me braid your hair and use that clasp?” Claude asked again, getting a fond smile from the prince as he used his free hand to take a hold of_ _his_ _wrist, pulling him close_ _. He kissed_ _his forehead, getting an even brighter smile_ _if that was even possible_ _._

_“I’ll take that as a yes!”_

_“Of course_ _,_ _Claude_ _._ _I don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll be sure to keep that promise,” Dimitri said_ _. “N_ _ow let me put this away so I don’t lose it.”_

_  
“To your room now!”_ _Claude laughed. They headed out and two doors down into Dimitri’s room where he found a spare piece of blue cloth that had torn from his cape earlier. Placing the clasp in the center, he tied the ends up carefully before putting it in his desk drawer._

_  
He_ _then_ _suddenly felt himself being pulled down and sideways until he landed roughly on his bed with Claude right next to him_ _. H_ _e wrapped his arms around him_ _,_ _using his chest as a pillow._

_  
“What are you doing?”_

_  
“Since we’re already here_ _,_ _I’ve figured_ _we could continue our break just lying here! Plus it’s much more private~”_

_  
Dimitri let out an exasperated sigh_ _. He was_ _getting used to Claude’s antics_ _so he decided to follow_ _the other’s example and just pull him close and enjoy their day off together._

  
Claude dropped the object back in the drawer and slammed it closed.

  
“Maybe he just forgot to get rid of it,” he said under his breath. He hauled his worn out body over to the bed, pulling the covers over and tucking himself in as he sighed. Exhaustion was finally setting in. But when he closed his eyes, another memory from this room rose up, lazy and bitter like smoke.

_  
“Claude?” Dimitri said_ _sleepily_ _. His arms held_ _Claude_ _gently against him, his cheek resting on top of his brown locks._

_“Yes_ _,_ _Mitya?” Claude yawned back, sighing comfortably_ _while he was_ _being held_ _. Lips pressed_ _against his temples._

_“I love you…”_

“Liar… the first lie you say and I actually believe it. You won’t fool me again.” Claude muttered, furiously wiping his eyes, feeling like he’s cried enough for the next couple of days. He curled even more into a ball.

“You’re terrible at remembering and keeping promises.”

Pulling azure blue sheets tighter around, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a slight siiggghhttt break from Claude and shift gears to more plot wise chapters and to the others, to kinda help world build a bit and help show what's going on or what's been going on. More than likely some stuff will be explained in the following chapter but I hope you all liked this chapter!
> 
> Thanks for my beta @trinketelysium and my friend on discord who did a second read on this!


End file.
